To Feel
by crazybeagle
Summary: A faint smile appeared on his face, a face that Elphaba had thought she would never see again. But as the last traces of fog vanished and she ran to him, she could tell that something was wrong...very, very wrong. Post-musical. Fiyeraba.
1. Tobias

**To Feel**

**Chapter 1- Tobias**

**This is dedicated to TheSquintiestSquint, who listened to my ideas for this one and said, "You'd better write it!" even when I wasn't sure about it, and proceeded to chase away my inhibitions by writing "It's The Thought That Counts" to prove to me that there's nothing I can do to Fiyero that you guys won't forgive me for. **

**It will be multi-chapter, and I was going to wait until I finished writing it to start posting it, but now at 20+ pages in, I decided, "Ah, what the heck", so here it is. **

**I will not deny that it was influenced by "Immortality" by The REAL Jasper Hale and "Transformation" by Dresdendollontheprowl. Both excellent, but very depressing, oneshots. Go read them. **

**And apparently I inadvertently made some references to Animorphs in it. I won't tell you where, but if you can figure it out, Squint will give you a gold star. :) **

_I wish I could be beautiful. For you._

Even now, as he remembered the words Elphaba had spoken five years ago, Fiyero wanted to laugh and laugh and kiss the life out of her. Looking down at her now, he could not fathom how she could not see that she was beautiful. She was dozing off, her head against his shoulder. The brilliant desert sunset wove a rainbow of color into her soft black hair and lit her green skin with a bronzy glow. His lovely Fae. His strong, passionate Elphaba. She was beautiful in every way. She always had been.

He was not. He had been, maybe, physically at least, back in his school days. But that had all been superficial. He hadn't given it much thought at the time, taking his looks for granted. In fact, he hadn't given anything much thought back then. He had been conceited, shallow, caring about nothing in particular…that is, until she'd come along and suddenly he'd found himself for the first time caring about _everything._

He still wondered what it was that she saw in him at all, what she had ever seen in him that made her love him. Everything about him that had attracted other girls at school- looks, status, and a tendency to be a complete cad-had only ever annoyed Elphaba. He knew he'd changed since then, all thanks to her, but he still didn't understand what it was about him that made her want him.

But there was something. He was sure of it. Otherwise, she wouldn't be with him now. At first, he'd been scared that it was only guilt that kept her by his side- guilt over what he'd given up for her, guilt over what she'd done to him. That had worn off fairly quickly, as he could perceive no noticeable difference in the way she treated him, in the way she loved him.

But there was guilt. He could see it in those sidelong glances, and often he could hear it behind her words. She wouldn't seem to believe him when he said he was grateful, and that he'd much rather be a scarecrow and be with her than to have died alone. Nor was she comforted by his insistence that he'd been well aware of the risks of following after her, so if any of this had been anyone's fault, it was his entirely.

Maybe it was because he couldn't bring himself to sound completely sincere, hard as he tried. It wasn't that he did not mean what he said. He was thankful from the bottom of his soul that she had saved him. And protecting her from Gale Force had been his choice, and he'd gladly do it again a hundred times over. But he couldn't deny the difficulties he'd had in the five years thus far since that day. The constraints and limitations that plagued him in his new body only made things harder on both of them: he couldn't get near fire or he'd burn, he couldn't get wet or he'd mildew, and he couldn't lift anything or he'd tear. They'd helped to compensate for these problems by packing light and traveling through the scarcely populated deserts just outside of Oz, where it stayed warm and rainfall was scarce, but things were never easy. He could not count the number of times Elphaba had held bent down, her eyes full of guilt, to help him up after he'd tripped over his own feet while walking.

His being a scarecrow posed other, very different complications in regard to their relationship, as well, complications that Fiyero often believed were the most devastating effect of his transformation. He couldn't _feel _her. He could hold her, wrap his arms around her, but he would feel nothing at all, and she would feel nothing but rough burlap and canvas. He was completely unable to share any sort of intimate physical relationship with her. He believed that this was unfair to her, and for him it was positively maddening: the vast majority of such desires, and the anatomy necessary to act upon them, had vanished along with his human body.

Fiyero stared off into the sands stretching endlessly before him. As the sun set and the moon cast its muted light over the desert, the whole scene slowly took on an ethereal, whitewashed glow. He allowed his mind to slip into the semi-stupor that he considered his equivalent of sleep. At some point, he became dimly aware that he was humming that song again, the song that he'd made up to comfort a terrified Dorothy on the long trip to Emerald City. He'd made it up on the spot once he realized how disturbed she was to be seeing a living scarecrow, and Boq and the Lion had quickly taken the same cue and added verses of their own when she'd met them. The whole idea behind the song, and much of their behavior toward the girl, had been to calm her down in the middle of what she found to be a traumatic situation and what they knew to be a potentially deadly mission. By the end of the whole thing, they'd managed to somewhat delude her into believing that Oz was some sort of fairytale land, and they'd helped to strengthen her resolve to do whatever it took to get herself home.

He'd made a mistake sharing the song with Elphaba, though. She still teased him endlessly about it. One good thing about the song, however, was that he was able to use it to make her smile when she was upset. A few short stanzas (_"I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers, consultin' with the raiiin…") _and a hint of a reluctant smile would creep into her features, no matter if she was worrying about where they would camp next or how much food they had left (although he could not eat), or even if she was thinking about Glinda again…

He snapped out of his reverie when he heard a sharp sound slicing through the silence of the night. It sounded like a bird of some sort…a crow, maybe? No, that didn't make sense; there were no crows in the desert. He tensed, his arms tightening around Elphaba. Not that it mattered how tightly he squeezed his arms about her: if they were in any real danger, aside from maybe jumping in front of a bullet he could do nothing to protect her. He'd become painfully aware of that fact about three years ago, when they'd been hiding out in the desert to the east of Munchkinland, known to the inhabitants of Oz as the Deadly Desert. He and Elphaba had never given the ostentatious names of the four deserts much consideration, knowing that they were designed to keep invaders out of Oz, that is, until Elphaba had fallen down one of the desert's many ravines. She'd been unconscious for hours, and he had been unable to move her at all. All he'd been able to do was watch helplessly and pray to every god he could think of that she would not die. Since then, the two of them had been more wary of the deserts, needless to say.

Currently, they were residing on the borders of the Impassable Desert, north of Gillikin. It was the driest and most brutal of the deserts, and the one with the least wildlife. Not even Animals dwelled here, which was the strongest testament to the unforgiving nature of the land, as the deserts were often a spot favored by Animals who had fled the country. Elphaba and Fiyero did not intend to stay here long: they were bound for the Shifting Sands west of the Vinkus and were only traveling this way because the winter season made passage through the Impassable Desert almost bearable, even if the nights were frigid and the days hot and windy.

Fiyero heard the bird's caw once again, and hazily wondered if the poor creature had somehow lost its way and ended up stranded in the desert. He considered getting up to see if it needed help, but he did not want to wake Elphaba. Minutes went by and he heard nothing else, so he leaned back against the boulder near which he was sitting and began once more to dreamily hum Dorothy's song to himself.

Then suddenly, a soft voice spoke somewhere near his head, and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Catchy song, mate."

Elphaba gasped and her eyes snapped open. "Who's there?" she whispered.

"Show yourself," Fiyero called out nervously.

"All right then," the voice said, and then a crow, or rather a Crow, landed on a boulder a few feet away, cocking its head at them curiously.

"Who are you?" Fiyero demanded.

The Crow laughed. "Call me Tobias. And who might you be?"

"That's none of your concern," he snapped.

"That was rhetorical, mate. I know who you are, and so does the rest of Oz. Interesting, though, to find the supposedly dead Wicked Witch of the West snuggling up to the famed Scarecrow who supposedly killed her," Tobias said with a sly wink.

"What do you want?" Elphaba asked steadily.

"Nothing in particular," Tobias said, shrugging. "Just dropped in to say hello, is all. Bit curious about you two. Been watching you for days."

"Days?" Elphaba repeated, horror apparent in her features.

"Days, yeah. I've been out here in this gods-forsaken wasteland for more than a week, lookin' for potion ingredients and such for an old friend of mine."

"And who would that be?" Fiyero asked, eyes narrowed.

"Wouldn't you like to know," the Bird leered, and then he turned to Elphaba. "Does the name 'Madame Frost' ring a bell, dearie?"

Elphaba's eyes widened, but she said nothing.

"So it does," Tobias said triumphantly. "Thought so."

"What do you want from us?" Elphaba asked again. She now wore a carefully guarded expression.

"I'd ask you to follow me, if you're not much opposed, my friends. I know milady would be delighted to meet you both."

"Oh really?" Fiyero said dryly.

Tobias laughed, the sound a harsh cackle. "Not that I'd expect you to trust me. That's fair enough, after all I suspect you've been through. But if you're willing, I think this dear friend of mine could…ah…assist you-" he looked pointedly at Fiyero-"in ways no one else could."

"What?"

"I know who you are, mate," Tobias said, hopping off the boulder and fluttering onto the ground before Fiyero. "Traitor Prince. One-time Captain of the good old Gale Force. I don't remember your actual name, come to think of it, but judging by your faces, I'd say I know enough."

"But- but how…" Fiyero spluttered. Elphaba looked as though she'd seen a ghost. He stared at Tobias, and only one possible course of action sprung into his mind: they had to kill the stupid Crow, and fast, before he blew their cover. It didn't matter how he knew what he knew. It didn't matter if it was right or wrong. But for the life of him he couldn't even move in his shell-shocked state, let alone try to do any serious damage to another creature in his flimsy body.

"You know, Nest Fallows really is a lovely spot to nest in the summer," Tobias said, "all that corn…"

"You were there?" Elphaba whispered, apparently giving up any pretense of ignorance.

"Well, not _me_, exactly. But a certain late brother of mine used to spend his summers roosting near the city of Center Munch. So, he comes to me a few days after the celebrated execution of a certain Vinkan prince caught in the act of sympathizing with the Wicked Witch of the West, and then he tells me this cock-and-bull story about how some moving, talking scarecrow, wearing a Gale Force uniform no less, had somehow appeared overnight hanging over one of his favorite feeding spots."

Fiyero had nothing to say to this. He realized that there was no way to deny any of it believably, so he went back to one of Tobias' earlier statements. "What do you mean, _assist_ me?"

Tobias chuckled and hopped up next to Fiyero's leg, pulling out a loose piece of straw that had been sticking out of Fiyero's boot with his beak. "What do you think I mean, mate?"

"So this…Frost…or whatever her name is…could change me back?"

"That's _Madame_ Frost to you," Tobias huffed. "And I've got a good feeling she very well could."

Silence followed his words. Fiyero still refused to trust anything the Crow said, but...still, the very thought that someone out there might have the power to break the spell…

At last, Elphaba spoke, her voice firm. "Even if we were to follow you, Master Tobias, and we knew with absolute certainty that you were not going to betray us and that you are in fact in league with Madame Frost, I seriously doubt she could do what you say. I'll remind you that spells of this nature are irreversible."

"Never underestimate milady," said Tobias with a wicked glint in his eye. "I assure you that if it can be done, she can do it. She has an extensive knowledge of sorcery, and her methods are…unique."

"Uh, sorry to interrupt, but would someone like to explain to me who Madame Frost is?" Fiyero asked.

"I don't know exactly," Elphaba told him, "but I do know that in the years I spent helping the Animals, I heard tell a few times of a woman, a sorceress and a recluse, who lived somewhere in the mountains in the north of Gillikin who sympathized with the Animals and supposedly harbored them when she could. I never met her, and by the sound of it few Animals even knew of her existence." She shrugged. "It was nice to know that there was at least one other person in the whole damned country who cared about them at all."

"She still does, you know," Tobias added. "And she knew of you, Lady Witch, and was most _displeased_ to hear of your untimely melting. My offer stands. I'm sure she'd be happy to let you two stay awhile."

Fiyero opened his mouth to protest, but Tobias cut him off. "Either you follow me, or watch me leave right now, knowing that you allowed the one soul capable of betraying the whereabouts of both yourselves and Frost to just fly away." He flew back to the top of his boulder. "Your choice."

"Wait-" Fiyero started as Tobias prepared to take off.

"That's what I thought," he said smugly, settling back down and beginning to preen his feathers.

***

A few nights later, the three found themselves camping out in the barren, empty land that existed on the borders of Oz between the Impassable Desert and the craggy mountain peaks that crowned the northwestern portion of Gillikin. They had stopped for the night among a large, haphazard collection of grey boulders that rose from the dead grass and cold dirt against the stark landscape. Fiyero was staring up at the stars, which were sparkling that night against a vast, empty sky. Elphaba was sleeping nearby behind one of the boulders to block the wind.

Tobias landed lightly next to him. "Better make sure this wind doesn't pick you up and carry you away, mate."

Fiyero shrugged. "It's happened before."

"I'll bet that was a sight to see," Tobias chuckled.

"Probably." His tone was cold. The two lapsed into silence.

"I know you don't like me," Tobias said abruptly a few minutes later. "You don't have to. But I really do want to help you."

"Me, or Elphaba?" he asked. He had no idea why the Bird should have any interest in _him._

"Both of you," he said gravely. "Do you want to know why I live with Frost?"

"Why?"

"My family is dead. My mate and all our nestlings," he growled in a voice laden with pain.

Fiyero turned to face Tobias, and saw him staring at the ground before him, trembling slightly. "How?" he asked gently.

"Gale Force," Tobias spat.

"I'm sorry," Fiyero whispered.

Tobias cleared his throat. "Well, I don't blame you of course, not really. It was years and years ago, long before you stepped in. But as you could imagine, I'm not too fond of Gale Force in general."

Fiyero nodded in understanding. In his time as Captain, he had managed to channel their efforts, for the most part, into his search for Elphaba. But the men of Gale Force had believed the lies fed to them by Morrible and the Wizard about the Animals, and were under strict orders to "eradicate any illicit Animal behavior by all means necessary".

"But you stood up to them," Tobias said, raising his head to look at Fiyero once more. "And for that alone I consider myself indebted to you, mate."

Fiyero couldn't think of a response to this, so he half-smiled and sat silently, allowing an awkward silence to ensue.

"They tortured you," Tobias said quietly a few minutes later.

Fiyero promptly dropped his gaze and nodded tightly. "How did you know?" he asked in a flat voice.

Tobias sighed. "My brother was there. He watched them do it. He told me what they did to you." He shook his head. "Sick bastards…"

Fiyero's fists clenched, memories he'd been trying to repress for the past five years flooding back to the surface unbidden and unwelcome.

_It was a night of hell and blood and madness. Gale Force was sadistic and merciless. They were not merely content to break his body, but they had been determined to strip him of every ounce of dignity he possessed. Already badly beaten and nearly blinded by the pain, he had been thrown facedown to the ground, the men, _his_ men, taunting him and saying things about Elphaba that made his heart burn with rage. Every time he feebly attempted to move or tried to speak, they flogged him until he lay still and silent, laughing at his tears of fury and desperation. He was sure that they would have kept this up until he died, but Elphaba's spell had taken hold in time to prevent that. As the pain faded, he felt a bizarre sense of calm, and he thought that it was simply because death was finally there to release him from his agony. It wasn't until he heard the men's confused voices that he realized something strange was happening…_

"And it was all for her, wasn't it?" Tobias nodded in Elphaba's direction.

Fiyero said nothing.

"Does she know what they did to you?"

"No," he muttered. He'd assured her that her spell had kicked in long before they could do him any real harm, that he hadn't felt a thing. "She doesn't need to know. She feels bad enough about the spell."

"So she changed you into this to save you."

"Right."

Tobias stared at Fiyero for a few seconds. "You're a good man," he said simply. Fiyero didn't respond. He met Tobias' eyes briefly and then looked up at the sky once again, trying once more to keep his memories of that night at bay.

"I do think milady can help you if you let her, mate. You don't have to like me. You don't have to trust me. But give me a chance."

Fiyero turned to him after a moment and nodded, a small smile on his painted features. "Alright. But you'd better not be up to something, or so help me I'll-"

"I don't want to know, mate. I get the idea."


	2. Frost

**Chapter Two**

**Frost**

"Where are we, exactly?" Elphaba asked as they entered a ramshackle mountain town at dusk a few days later. The buildings appeared deserted, although she kept the hood of her cloak drawn over her face and stuck close to Fiyero. She could have sworn that she saw movement in the shadows here, a pair of yellow eyes glaring from an alleyway there. It wasn't as if she was afraid of what might be lurking in the darkness…in her lifetime she had become an expert at using darkness to veil herself from unwanted eyes, but strolling down a village square, out in the open in a public place for the first time in ages, made her feel inexplicably vulnerable.

"Never you mind the exact location," called Tobias, who was soaring several feet above them, level with the crumbling rooftops. "It's safer for everyone, you included, if you don't know. You can call this charming little dump Iron Town. Everyone else does."

"Iron Town?" she asked. "Why?"

"Good question," he laughed. "It used to be an old mining town, as far as we know. Well, there's no iron ore up here, of course- that comes from the Quadling bogs- but Iron Town sounds more intriguing than Granite Town or Coal Town, I think."

Fiyero glanced around suspiciously. "Where is everybody?"

"Hiding," Tobias said simply. "Does that surprise you?"

If the town's occupants were hiding from them, Elphaba thought, then the population was most likely comprised of Animals. Any humans, friend or foe, would have revealed themselves by now.

Elphaba shivered. They were fairly high up in the mountains, and the air was positively frigid. Patches of ice and snow covered the ground. She could see her breath. It was incredible to her that this degree of cold could exist in a location so close to the sweltering desert they had left only days before.

Tobias stopped before a house that, like the others, was fairly shabby and built from wood. It was clearly distinguishable from the others, however, by the fact that it was two stories tall. The shutters were closed and icicles hung from the window frame. Elphaba noted that none hung from the doorframe, suggesting that the place was not as abandoned as it appeared.

"Wait here-" Tobias began, but he was cut off by a deafening roar. Elphaba wheeled around. She felt air _whoosh_ past her and caught a brief glimpse of a tan-colored blur before she heard Fiyero's surprised yell. Seconds later, she saw that Fiyero was pinned to the ground several yards away, a large cat-or Cat- on top of his chest. Elphaba guessed it was a Cougar. It had its head bent low over Fiyero's, and low growls sounded from deep within its throat.

"Lirah!" Tobias cried, swooping down to land next to the Cougar.

"How…_dare _you…bring him here?" the Cougar hissed at Tobias.

"Lirah, stop it. He won't harm us."

"Like hell he won't," she snarled. "You know full well what this monster's done. How could you-"

"Listen, Lirah," Tobias snapped, his eyes flashing dangerously. "We were wrong about him. He never tried to kill the Witch."

"Prove it." Lirah's claws were now digging into Fiyero's shirt.

"Uh, Fae…" Fiyero tried to turn his head to look at Elphaba.

Elphaba glanced at Tobias, who nodded. She took this as a cue to throw back her hood and walk up to Lirah. "Is this proof enough?" she asked her.

Lirah gasped. "L-lady Fae?" she managed to stammer after a few seconds.

Elphaba nodded, grinning at Lirah's use of her old codename.

Tobias rolled his eyes. "Told you."

"Pleased to meet you," Elphaba said courteously. "Now, if you please-"

"Get off me," Fiyero finished with a slight smile.

Lirah, who appeared to have forgotten that she was on top of Fiyero, quickly removed herself with a hastily muttered apology. Elphaba helped Fiyero up.

"You'll get a good long explanation for all this in time, Lirah, trust me," Tobias said, watching bemusedly as Lirah alternately gaped at Elphaba and glowered at Fiyero. "But for now I need to take them to Frost. You and your cubs are perfectly safe in the meantime."

Just then, the door to the house opened, and the silhouette of a woman- at least, Elphaba thought it was a woman- appeared on the threshold, backlit by the room behind her. "What is going on?" said a sharp voice.

"Milady, we have some visitors," Tobias explained, fluttering over to her. The woman held out her forearm and he perched on it.

"Ah," she said curtly, approaching them. As she stepped into the light of the newly risen moon, Elphaba got a good look at her. She was a tall, stately woman in a dark robe. Her long white hair was pulled back from her face in a braid, affording a clear view of her sharp features, high cheekbones, and keen eyes. Her expression of guarded curiosity was replaced by one of surprise when she got a better look at Elphaba and Fiyero. "Oh Lurline…" she whispered.

***

In less than a minute, Frost had ushered both of them into the house and bolted the door behind her. She silently pointed to a table surrounded by stools sitting by a brick hearth. They took their seats, Fiyero eyeing the odd smokeless purple flames dancing within the hearth rather anxiously and sitting as far from the fire as possible. Tobias hopped onto the table next to him.

"Now," she said briskly, "explain yourselves, please. You may start with your names."

"Elphaba Thropp," Elphaba said promptly, looking the woman in the eye. "I've also been called Fae."

Frost inclined her head in recognition, then arched an eyebrow at Fiyero. "And you?"

Fiyero exchanged glances with Elphaba before saying, "Fiyero Tiggular, Madame."

"_Prince_ Fiyero Tiggular, I presume?" she asked, studying his face. He nodded.

"Ah," she said shortly. "Well, Tobias, it appears your suspicions regarding these two were correct."

"So I believe, Madame," Tobias replied confidently.

Frost smiled, then addressed Fiyero and Elphaba once again. "If, however, he happens to be incorrect in his assumptions and I sense treachery afoot, I assure you both that you will never leave this house." Her eyes were steely.

"We understand, milady," Elphaba replied calmly. "We mean you no ill will."

"I should hope not," she said tersely, her eyes lingering on Fiyero.

***

Fiyero was still not entirely sure whether this woman was trustworthy, but he knew that they had little choice but to tell her the truth. He listened as Elphaba described to Frost everything there was to tell, from their Shiz days to when she had first defied the Wizard, her years of resistance, and her supposed death at the hands of Dorothy. Fiyero supplied information where he could, recounting his experiences as the head of Gale Force, the weeks he spent traveling with Dorothy, and the occurrences in Emerald City shortly after Dorothy had completed her mission. Fiyero had shifted uncomfortably in his seat when Elphaba described how he had been dragged off by Gale Force after Nessa's death. She told Frost exactly what Fiyero had told her, that her spell had protected him the whole time. He could not sense any change in Frost's unreadable expression. Tobias caught his eye and nodded almost imperceptibly, and Fiyero hoped that this meant that Tobias had not told Frost anything contradictory to their version of the story.

When they had finished, Frost was silent for a few minutes, staring into the violet flames. She appeared to be considering all they had told her. Fiyero glanced at Elphaba, who was clearly trying to quell rising impatience.

"So," Frost said after awhile. "The Wizard and Morrible are gone. I knew as much- I have certain connections- but I knew nothing of the nature of this new regent. I've heard that Animal raids have quieted down since the throne changed hands, but I had no idea…"

"You believe us, then?" Fiyero asked.

Frost was silent for a moment. Then she nodded once. "I'm inclined to, although I do wonder why Tobias brought you to me. I am indeed relieved to know that you are both alive and well, but surely there is another reason for your presence aside from bearing good tidings. Are you in trouble?"

"No, milady," Elphaba replied. "We've been successful at hiding ourselves in the four deserts. We haven't yet made an attempt to cross them-"

"As well you shouldn't," Tobias interjected.

Elphaba nodded. "But we've managed to keep out of trouble. Tobias found us a few days ago, and he asked us to follow him. He said…" Elphaba trailed off, looking at Tobias.

"I told them you could help with Master Fiyero's- ah- _condition_, Madame," Tobias explained.

Frost smiled wryly. "Oh, you did, did you?" She shook her head. "Such audacity…"

Elphaba sighed and started to stand up.

"Sit down, lass," said Frost. "I didn't say no. Tobias was right to bring you here. If all you say is true, I would be honored to assist you however I can."

"Thank you, milady." Elphaba sat down. She took Fiyero's hand beneath the table and squeezed it gently. "But…" she paused for a moment. "If you don't mind me asking, how do you intend to do it? I never attempted a reversal because I thought that it could not be done."

"Who told you reversals were impossible?" Frost asked.

"Madame Morrible-" Elphaba began.

"Ah. So Madame Morrible told you that."

"Well, yes…" She caught Frost's eye and immediately looked sheepish. "Of course, I did consider…that she wasn't being completely truthful at the time, and that she just wanted to keep me from causing any more trouble, but…"

"I understand, lass," she interrupted with a small smile. "There was little you could have done anyway. But she was correct, to a certain degree."  
"What do you mean?"

"By that, she meant that no one in Oz has the ability to reverse a spell."

"But for our purposes, that practically means the same thing," Fiyero objected.

"Ah, but it doesn't, lad. You see, I'm not from Oz. I'm from the Kingdom of Ix."

She took in their confused expressions and sighed. "I suppose it's my turn for explanations."


	3. Explanations

**Chapter 3**

**Explanations**

"I knew Morrible. Not well, mind you, but we were both young ladies at court in Emerald City. She had just graduated from Shiz and was continuing her education in sorcery with some of the Ozma Regent's most powerful magicians. I was the daughter of the Ambassador to Ix, and I had just married one of the Regent's secretaries. A strategic union, I knew, but a good one nonetheless. He was a decent man and I was fond of him."

"Was?" Fiyero asked.

"It's a funny thing," Frost said bitterly, "how all those loyal to the Regent began to vanish one by one when the Wizard took power. My husband was among them."

"That's terrible," Elphaba said softly. Frost nodded.

"And I was exiled," she continued. "I have no doubt that it was Morrible's doing, the ambitious fool."

"Why would she exile you?" Elphaba asked. "Surely not all the ladies at court were exiled?"

"No. But sorcery is far more common in Ix than in Oz, and I, like many others in my kingdom, had been a sorceress-in-training my entire life prior. The university I attended specialized in the magic arts."

"The old bat was afraid of her," Tobias supplied.

"Yes. My power did not exceed hers, but my skill did. She knew of me, and she wanted me gone. She accused me of treason, the manipulative chit, and had the Wizard's court order me to leave the country. They could not execute me because I was no citizen of Oz, but with my father dead by then, I had no one to defend me from the charges."

Elphaba grinned. "Obviously you never left."

"No, I did not. I wanted to, but then the Wizard made his damned law that all desert caravans were to be escorted by military personnel, and I was afraid they would have me assassinated somewhere along the way if I tried to go home. So I stayed, and since then I've done what I can to help out other victims of Sir Despotism Incarnate and his lapdog."

"Namely, the Animals," said Tobias.

Frost nodded. "Yes, the Animals were the ones most affected by this mess, as you two know," Frost agreed. "I've not been a great help, not like you were, and yes, you _were_ a great help to them, lass, so stop looking so uneasy," she added, the corners of her mouth twitching as she took in Elphaba's obvious discomfort. "In short, I set this place up and allowed them to come to _me._ In retrospect, I could've done more." She stared at the tabletop, her eyes distant. "I should have…" She sighed. "I was afraid. But _you_, on the other hand, were so utterly unafraid to do what you did, and to bear that- that _splendid_ title they gave you. I was both devastated and completely unsurprised when I heard that the Wizard had you murdered."

Fiyero bristled at this. It still angered him beyond words that that coward had sent a _child_- a confused, terrified, little farm girl- to carry out the assassination, especially when Elphaba had been in such a towering fury at the time. He hadn't initially thought that Elphaba would really harm the girl, but he was less certain after she'd begun hurling fireballs… The hatred in her face and malice in her voice had scared him as much as it had scared Dorothy, but only he had seen the inconsolable grief that lay behind it all.

Elphaba shrugged. "Well, I'm here now, so apparently it requires more than a bucket of water to take me down."

"Idiotic rumors," Fiyero muttered.

"Indeed," Frost agreed. "Though they worked out nicely in your favor. But back to the subject of reversals. In Ix, advanced spell reversal is taught only to those who have been studying sorcery for several years. Undoing simple charms is one thing." She pointed at the lone candlestick on the table and immediately the flame guttered. The candle then melted before their eyes, reduced to a puddle of wax on the dark tabletop. She pointed again, muttered a few indiscernible words, and the candle instantly reconstructed itself before their eyes, and seconds later it was back in place and burning brightly once again, with no perceivable change in its appearance. "Not terribly difficult, though that particular one takes awhile to perfect before you can do it without splattering yourself with hot wax." She turned to Fiyero, her eyes calculating. "However, a reversing a spell of _this_ nature…I will do everything within my power. I can promise you that. But I warn you that it will be difficult. Potentially dangerous. And it may well be beyond my capabilities."

Fiyero nodded. "Thank you." He glanced at Elphaba. She looked uncertain. _Dangerous?_ she mouthed at him. He did his best to look reassuring, taking her hand in his- or her knee, maybe, as it was hard for his nerveless hand to tell the difference- beneath the table. She pursed her lips but gave Frost a small nod as well.

Frost did not miss Elphaba's discontent. "You can help me out if you want, lass. I could probably use all the help I can get for this one. And you might learn a few things."

Elphaba took a deep breath. "Thank you, milady. I'd be honored."

Fiyero could tell her concern was far from assuaged.

***

Later that night, in a small bedroom on the upper floor of Frost's home, Fiyero and Elphaba discussed matters amongst themselves. She was lying in his arms, the blanket drawn tight around her to ward off a chill that Fiyero could not feel.

"I like the sound of Ix," Fiyero said at one point. "When we're done here I say let's move there. Maybe Frost will lend us brooms to cross that blasted desert."

"Brooms, hmm?" she laughed. "You might not be so keen on that if Frost manages to change you back. If I remember correctly, you failed to tell me that you were afraid of heights until after your first flight with me."

"I wasn't as though I had much of a choice, anyway," he said, poking her gently in the ribs. "Not with Gale Force after us."

"Well, crossing the desert might be more than your poor stomach can take," she teased. Then she craned her head back so she could look at him. "That is, if you have a stomach by that time." Her worry had returned. He could see a little crease between her eyebrows.

"Elphaba, if it doesn't work, we're no worse off than before."

"I know." She sighed. "It's not the end I'm worried about. It's the means."

Fiyero rested his hand on the back of her neck. "Fae, don't worry. Frost knows what she's doing."

Elphaba stared up at the ceiling rafters. "I don't want you to get hurt, Yero," she whispered.

"Ah, what's the worst that could happen? I mean, I'll be a little annoyed if I get changed back and my head's missing-"

"Not helping," she growled.

"Fae, if that was likely to happen, do you really think Frost would have agreed to help? Besides, if something goes wrong before that, I'm pretty fixable in my current state."

"Not if you catch fire," she pointed out.

"My, you're negative." He moved his hand from her neck to the back of her head, watching as strands of her beautiful hair moved under his gloved fingers. Her hair was one of the things he missed feeling most of all. "Keep a bucket of water nearby if it makes you feel better."

"I will." She snuggled closer to him and yawned. "'Good night, Yero my hero."

"Good night, love."

***

The next day, Frost gave Elphaba a brief tour of Iron Town. Fiyero stayed in the house with Tobias: he knew, and Frost confirmed, that Lirah's hostility toward him last night was a good indication of how the rest of the village's Animal inhabitants were likely to react to his presence.

"Believe me, mate, you're much safer here," Tobias told him. "Lirah and I are by no means the only ones in this town who have lost loved ones. And there are bigger Animals than Lirah here. Like my friend Onyar, for instance."

"And what exactly is Onyar?" Fiyero asked, though he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to know.

"He's a Tiger."

"Oh." He shuddered to think what an angry Tiger could do to him. After all, he already had a few holes in him from Lirah.

"So, uh, you mentioned that your brother died, the one who told you about me. Did Gale Force…"

"No," he sighed. "Jed ate some bad meat, the poor bastard."

"'Bastard'?"

"Well, let's just say Jed wasn't my favorite sibling. A bit of a bully but I loved him all the same. Rachel, my mate, absolutely despised him. But he was clearly telling me the truth about you. He knew Frost would want to know. And it's a good thing she did know, or she might not have taken the time to hear you out before chucking her own fireballs at you."

"She can do that?" Fiyero blurted, and immediately felt like an idiot.

Tobias laughed. "Of _course _she can. Or weren't you paying attention during her little candle demonstration? But don't worry," he added, his tone mocking. "I think she almost likes you." He flew from his perch on the back of a chair to the shelf that held Frost's many spell books. "Now, where did Elphaba say this spell came from?"

"A book called the Grimmerie, I think."

"Which Grimmerie?"

"There's more than one?"

Tobias growled. "Obviously this is going to take awhile."


	4. Realizations

**Chapter 4**

**Realizations**

Fiyero soon learned, to his great annoyance, that there were actually six different Grimmeries, written in about three different languages, none of which he understood. Tobias could make out some of the texts, but all he himself had to rely on were the illustrations that sometimes accompanied the spells and Frost's handwritten notes in the margins.

"Any luck yet?" Tobias asked him after an hour of searching.

"No. You?"

"Uh-uh." He stared blankly at the page before him for a few seconds, then turned to Fiyero. "You know, I've been wondering… I've not seen Frost do anything quite like this before, and I'm not sure exactly what a reversal will do to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember the candle? She melted it, but when she reversed the spell, the candle was completely restored and burning low again, as if nothing had happened to it?"

Fiyero nodded.

"Now apply the same principle to yourself. What do you think will happen?"

"Well," Fiyero began. "I'd be human, obviously, and probably the same age I was then. And…" His words died in his throat as a sudden terrible thought came to him.

"And?" Judging by Tobias' tone, Fiyero guessed that he'd drawn the same conclusion.

"Oh damn," he whispered.

"That about sums it up," Tobias said gravely, hopping over to Fiyero. "Were you dying?"

"Uh…No, I don't think so, but-"

"But it wasn't pretty."

"No."

"Well…that might pose a problem, mate."

_Damn it, _he thought. _Damn it, damn it, damn it. _Time, as well as his inability to register pain, had somewhat dulled his memories of the physical suffering, but he remembered enough to be immensely fearful at the prospect of reliving it all. And it went without saying that if Elphaba found out about it beforehand, he would not be able to convince her to allow him to go through with the reversal at all.

"Are you sure that's what's going to happen?" he asked bleakly.

"I don't really know," Tobias admitted. "I hope not. I don't know… maybe the spell did start working a little bit before they really got to you, and you only noticed it when you stopped feeling everything. In that case, a reversal shouldn't be a problem."

Fiyero shrugged and looked back down at the book before him, trying to quell his rising dread.

"We should tell Frost," Tobias said. "All I told her was that Jed said it looked like they were torturing you. She believed what Elphaba told her last night."

"No," Fiyero muttered. "We can't."

"Why?"

"She'll tell Elphaba."

"So? She should know too."

"No, she shouldn't."

Tobias sighed, exasperated. "This is no time to be all noble about it, mate."

"It's not that," he said quickly, although he couldn't deny that that was indeed part of the reason. "If she knew what could happen she wouldn't let me go through with it."

"Oh…" Tobias was quiet for a moment. "Well, could _I_ tell Frost, at least? I'll ask her not to tell Elphaba."

"Please don't." He did not want to know what Elphaba might do if she found out that Frost had been keeping something like that from her, especially if they were correct and he did turn out injured. That is, assuming that she wouldn't go ahead and tell Elphaba anyway… "And besides, we don't even know if it's going to happen anyhow."

"Alright, if you're sure…" Tobias began uncertainly.

"I am." He needed to do this. Elphaba deserved more than a scarecrow, even if he hadn't been all that wonderful to begin with. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted it badly for purely selfish reasons as well. He wanted to be able to touch her. He wanted to grow old with her. He wanted to _live_ again, even if it might hurt like hell.

***

Elphaba and Frost returned a short while later. Frost made some stew for herself and Elphaba, and then the two of them joined Fiyero and Tobias in their pursuit of Elphaba's spell. Fiyero noticed that Elphaba was being unusually quiet, and when Frost left the room to fetch parchment and quills at one point, he asked her what was the matter.

"It's nothing," she muttered, pulling another book towards her.

"Fae, talk to me."

She sighed and turned to him, sorrow clear in her features. "It's just…this town. There's been so much loss. I could see it in their eyes. And not just the Animals, either. There's some human refugees here, too. Dissenters."

"Fae, there's nothing more you can do. The Wizard did his damage. But he's gone now, and I'm sure Glinda's doing everything she can to make it right again."

"It'll never be right," she said softly. "Not completely."

"I know." He put a hand on her shoulder. "But you can't undo what the Wizard did, as much as you want to. No one can."

She put her hand on his. "I hope Glinda's alright. I still can hardly live with myself knowing I left her to fend for herself as the leader of an entire country full of idiots who would kill to do the Wizard's bidding. And then there's Emerald City, positively swarming with the politicians who supported him."

"I think she's alright," Fiyero said, trying to sound reassuring. "She's tougher than we gave her credit for, you know that. She single-handedly banished the Wizard and arrested Morrible, _and _she managed to send Dorothy back to… wherever she came from. I doubt she'd tolerate anyone questioning her authority."

"I know. I believe in her, but it's maddening…all these years, and not knowing…"

"But we do know. Frost told us she's heard of her, remember? And she said she's got connections, so I bet she'd know if anything major had happened in Emerald City in the past few years. No news is good news, Fae. And she's not alone. You know Boq stuck around to help her out. He'd never let anything happen to her. She's got herself an indestructible bodyguard that loves her to distraction."

She winced at the mention of Boq and the use of the word "indestructible", but relented. "I know. I'm sorry, Yero."

"Don't apologize. I know you're worried. I am, too." They'd had this conversation before, though decidedly not very often, as it only left them both miserable and anxious on Glinda's behalf. Fiyero knew she had a real heart for the citizens of Oz, as he'd seen during her time as the Wizard's Vizier, and that she was capable of carrying herself with an air of great authority, but neither of these things could have prepared her well enough for the challenges she'd face trying to reform and rule an entire nation.

She smiled at him, apparently placated for the time being, then cleared her throat and delved once more into the book before her. "Come on. We have work to do."

He returned to work as well, painfully aware that he might very soon be giving her another entirely different reason to worry.

***

"I've got it," Frost exclaimed some time later, when the sky was growing dark. "Elphaba, come look."

Elphaba hurried over. Her eyes scanned the pages, and a broad smile gradually appeared on her face. "I think this is it," she said breathlessly.

"Good. But we've got a few complications to work out here, lass."

"Complications?"

"This spell doesn't say anything about scarecrows. It's merely a strong charm for physical protection. You cast it incorrectly."

"Oh." She blushed a dark olive color. "Well, I… it didn't make any sense to me."

"No matter. We can likely figure out where you went wrong. Probably a mispronunciation or two along the way. At any rate, I'd say you achieved the desired effect…in a way." She smiled wryly, and Elphaba's blush only deepened.

"Now look here, lass." Frost pointed to the text and Elphaba sat in the chair closest to her. "Here's what the spell means…" She scribbled words onto a piece of parchment for a few minutes. "I'm fairly certain you went wrong _here_-" she pointed at one of the words, "-_here _and _here._ If you alter them a bit-"she marked the parchment again, "-the spell reads as follows…"

"They nearly have it," Tobias murmured to Fiyero as he watched them work. "Excited?"

"I don't know," he whispered back. He was filled with anticipation, but he could not decide if it was the good kind or the bad kind.

"…And this, I think, is the way you cast it originally. Now, to reverse it all, you have to alter the words in such a manner that it precisely negates your spell…"

The two of them spent another fifteen minutes bent over the parchment. Eventually, Frost straightened up, her expression weary but triumphant. Elphaba stayed bent over their work, scrutinizing it, her mouth silently forming the words on the page.

"Elphaba, you can stop now," Frost told her, grinning. "We've checked it over and over again. It's as right as it's ever going to be, lass."

"Okay," Elphaba stood up too, fierce determination sparkling in her eyes. "What do we do?"

"First, we eat. We've been at it for hours. It would be unwise to cast it now." Frost said, clearly amused at Elphaba's irritated expression. Fiyero could tell that eating was the last thing Elphaba wanted to do right now.

"Listen to her, Elphaba," Tobias agreed. "Never cast on an empty stomach. That's one of the most important rules of sorcery."

Elphaba shot Fiyero an apologetic look. He smiled and took her hand. "Eat, Fae. We have plenty of time."

"Alright…" she muttered dejectedly. "We'll do it right afterwards, then?"

"Of course," Frost called over her shoulder, already on her way to her small kitchen. Elphaba hugged Fiyero tightly. "We've got it," she whispered. "I'm finally going to make this right, Yero." She kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, Fae. Now please go eat something."

She headed off to the kitchen to help Frost. He watched her go, his anxiety beginning to mount.

"Are you alright?" Tobias asked him.

"I'm afraid," he admitted.

"You know, it's not too late to tell them-"

"No," he said flatly.

"I thought not," Tobias said resignedly. "I hope you make it through this in one piece, mate."

"Me too." The concern in Tobias' voice immediately made him feel guilty. "Look, I'm sorry to make you worry about all this. But I can't-"

"I understand, mate. So we'll just have to wait and see, I guess."


	5. Complications

**Chapter 5**

**Complications**

"I'll stand here. You go stand against that wall, facing me. Fiyero, you stand between us. Now, we're going to cast it in unison. It'll be stronger that way. You've got it memorized, lass?"

"Yes," Elphaba said, taking her position by the wall. She'd been repeating the words over and over in her mind for the past hour; she knew she could not afford to make a single mistake. "Yero, stand between us."

He walked over and stopped midway between them. "No bucket, Fae?" he asked, half-smiling.

"It's over there," she said impatiently, pointing to a tin pail of water near the hearth. Of course she'd remembered the water. How could she forget? "Now shh."

"Alright, Fiyero," Frost began in a calm voice. "Hopefully everything will go smoothly, but the change may be more than a bit disorienting for you, so when it is complete, do not move until I tell you to do so." Fiyero nodded. "That is," she continued, "assuming that you are even able to stand upright at that point, of course. Are you ready, Elphaba?"

"Yes." She stood, one foot slightly in front of the other in her preferred casting position, and closed her eyes, reaching deep down within herself until she found the pulsing, electric core of power that was her magic. She allowed it to fill her up and push away her fears and inhibitions. She could do this. She _would _do this. For Fiyero, she must.

"On three, begin. One…two…three…"

Together, they began to chant. Elphaba steadily recited the strange words, infusing them with such great power that they burned her tongue as she spoke them. _"Nela um atum…eleka atum…" _Their voices rose as the spell went on, and by the time they reached the final phrases, they were shouting. Elphaba, however, could hardly hear herself over the roaring sound of the mighty forces within her being unleashed through the ancient words.

The air between Frost and Elphaba seemed to dance and shimmer, as if heat waves somehow hung over the flagstone floor. Elphaba could hardly see Fiyero through this spell haze. When the last word was spoken, the rippling currents in the air suddenly froze. Slowly, they began to solidify into what looked like long tendrils of mist, which began to rotate around the spot where Fiyero was standing. Faster and faster they moved, streaks of white and silver, until they became one solid, swirling mass of fog, encasing Fiyero in what Elphaba imagined to be an opaque chrysalis formed from a single storm cloud. Bright threads of magic, like bolts of lightning, shone from within it, but she could not see Fiyero at all.

For several minutes, the spell continued to work, like a miniature cyclone standing before them. At some point, Elphaba felt Tobias flutter onto her shoulder to get a better look.

At long last, the fog began to lift. Through the misty air, Elphaba could make out an indistinct figure standing before her. Whether the figure was human or not, it was impossible to tell.

"Stay put, Lady Fae," Tobias muttered in her ear as she started to take a step forward. "Wait for the fog to clear."

Elphaba remained where she was, but a little blossom of hope rose up within her. Maybe it had worked. But whatever he was, Elphaba thought, he was still standing, which was a relief.

"Fiyero?" she called. There was no reply. She called his name again. More silence.

The fog dissipated further, and she finally saw him.

He was not standing, but hanging suspended a few inches off the floor by some invisible force. He was staring straight ahead, a wearing a dazed expression. Pieces of old straw were scattered across the flagstones beneath him, along with a battered black hat. A few seconds later, his eyes met hers. "Fae?" A faint smile appeared on his face, a face that Elphaba had thought she would never see again.

Fiyero was human once more.

But, as the last traces of the fog vanished and Elphaba ran to him, she could tell that something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

The first thing she saw was the long, bleeding gash that stretched from the bridge of his nose across his cheek to his left jawbone. Then she saw the dark bruises that mottled the rest of his face, and she felt as if she'd been doused with icy water.

"Yero!"

His body was still hanging in the air, and it looked like he'd gone completely limp. His clothes, which had fit him perfectly as a scarecrow, now hung loosely, and a dark stain was quickly spreading across the faded fabric covering one of his legs. Blood was dripping steadily from the fingers of his now gloveless hand to the floor.

Frost had rushed over as well, staring slightly open-mouthed at Fiyero.

"What happened? What's wrong with him?" Elphaba asked her urgently.

Frost did not answer, but dismay was clear upon her face. She glanced at Tobias, who looked down.

"He wasn't telling you everything, milady," Tobias said quietly.

Her eyes widened with comprehension. "Gale Force," she breathed.

Tobias nodded. "He told me not to tell you." Elphaba could hear the misery behind his words.

Frost shot him an icy glare, and then immediately turned her attention back to Fiyero as whatever force had been holding him suddenly released him, and he fell heavily to the ground.

"No!" Elphaba cried, sinking to her knees beside him. She gently touched his rapidly paling face, and he opened his eyes.

"It worked," he whispered. His eyes- his beautiful eyes- were full of pain, but he was smiling up at her. With effort, he reached over and laid his hand on her arm. "I can…feel you."

She put her hand over his. "I know." Despite the situation, she could not help but feel a little rush of joy at the fact that it was indeed _his_ hand she could now feel beneath her own, for the first time in an eternity. But her pleasure quickly disappeared when he gripped her arm tightly and let out a shuddering gasp. Tears blurred her vision. "Yero, you said- you said they didn't hurt you."

The pain in his eyes was quickly joined by guilt. "I lied…I'm sorry, Fae…"

"Shhh," she said soothingly. Fiyero closed his eyes. She turned to Frost. "He needs help. Now."

Frost nodded grimly. "Let's get him upstairs, lass."


	6. Anticipation

**Chapter 6**

**Anticipation**

He was out cold by the time they got him to the bedroom. He had only woken up once, while they were on the stairwell, uttering a confused, "Where am I?" before fainting again.

It was rare for Elphaba to feel faint-hearted, but as but as she helped Frost tend to Fiyero, she felt ill. It was clear he had been shown no mercy. He'd been beaten, as the deep bruises and cuts that covered his entire body testified. He'd been flogged so severely that there was hardly any unbroken skin on his back. His left leg was badly mangled, and Frost said that his spine had been damaged. There had even been a few terrible hours that night, when he'd been white as a sheet and completely unresponsive, during which Frost thought he might have lost too much blood to survive, regardless of the spells she performed to staunch the wounds. Elphaba refused to let herself think about that, trying with all her might not to lose her head completely as she prepared wet rags and bandages with shaking hands and fighting not to succumb to the horrible emptiness that threatened to overcome her at the thought of losing him.

It was nearly dawn before he stirred at all. Frost had been about to cast a spell that she hoped would "sort out" his leg. The second she laid her hands on him, he shivered and moaned softly. Elphaba heaved a sigh of relief.

"That's a good sign," Frost remarked.

"You mean you think he'll…" Elphaba trailed off, unable to bring herself to use the word "survive".

"I think so, if he's able to respond to us. But let's hope he stays unconscious for the time being. Otherwise he is going to feel every minute of this."

Elphaba sank into the chair by the window, her fingers wrapped around the armrests with a vice-like grip. Tobias was perched on a nearby bureau, watching silently. He hadn't spoken a word for hours.

As Frost began the spell, Fiyero opened his eyes, staring blankly at the ceiling. It seemed to Elphaba that he was still completely lethargic: he seemed to be staring through the ceiling rather than at it. His body was shaking and his breath was coming in a series of ragged wheezes. She went back to the side of the bed and took his hand, at the same time hearing an ominous noise that sounded like bones cracking. Fiyero cried out. Frost abruptly stopped the spell. "Try to calm him down, lass," she sighed, pity in her eyes. "This is going to be difficult enough as it is."

Heartsick, Elphaba bent over him. His eyes briefly focused on her face. "Fae…"

"Yes, it's me," she said softly, placing her hand gently on the side of his face. He flinched at her touch, and she remembered a second too late that beneath her fingers his skin was badly bruised.

"They're hurting me," he whispered. He was gazing past her again. The color was gone from his face. Elphaba felt a lump in her throat. He looked like a frightened child.

"Shhh." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "I'm here, Yero." She then turned to Frost, her eyes narrowed. "And you said he'll be alright?" Her tone was dangerous, as if daring her to say otherwise.

"Depends on what you mean by 'alright'," Frost muttered distractedly when she'd finished the spell. "Now help me turn him over and we'll have a look at that back."

With Frost's help, Elphaba gingerly laid him on his side. She knelt by the side of the bed, her hair falling curtain-like over her shoulder and spilling onto the sheets. Fiyero slowly reached forward and tangled his fingers in it. Elphaba could not tell if he was aware he had done this or not. Frost laid her hands on his heavily bandaged back and began to recite a second spell, and with this incantation came, once again, the sound of bones cracking and grinding. Elphaba stared determinedly at the wall, trying to quell her sudden nausea. She felt her hair being gently yanked.

The last words of the spell faded away minutes later. Elphaba looked down. Fiyero's eyes were screwed shut. His body was shaking with silent sobs. "Fae," he was whispering over and over. "Fae…I'm sorry, Fae…I love you…don't let them get you…"

Elphaba rested her hand lightly on his shoulder. Her eyes stung with tears. _Five years. _Five years he had kept this from her. She did not see how it was possible that she had never questioned his version of events that day, however vague his description might have been. _No,_ she amended. _It was perfectly possible. _She knew that she hadn't inquired further because she didn't want to believe that he could have gone through such suffering all on her behalf, as if her spell hadn't been terrible enough. But, as things now stood, she could not understand why he had insisted on keeping her in the dark. It might have been his idea of chivalry, but it was her idea of idiocy, especially when his life was on the line. _When he wakes up,_ she thought, _I'm going to kill him. _Her throat constricted. _If he wakes up at all…_

Frost shut the spell book and tucked it under her arm. She gazed down at Fiyero for a long time, an unfathomable expression on her face. Then she looked at Elphaba. Elphaba met her eyes, not caring that her tears were flowing freely.

"You take care of him," she said seriously. "He'll be good to you."

"I know," Elphaba murmured, rubbing small circles into Fiyero's shoulder with her thumb. "He has been."


	7. Awakening

**Chapter 7**

**Awakening**

Three days passed without any further incident, aside from a slight scare the second day when he'd had a brief bout of fever. He had been nearly comatose the whole time, and when he did have periods of wakefulness, he never appeared to be lucid or at all aware of his surroundings.

At long last, on the third evening, he awoke. The first thing he thing he was aware of was the fact that his entire body felt impossibly heavy, so much so that it was an effort just to open his eyes. He stared up at the wooden rafters above him, and he realized that he had no idea where he was. It was then that the pain struck him, pain rippling through every inch of his body. His eyes watered, and he desperately tried to remember what had happened to him. He remembered Gale Force and their weapons, and a field, and something about a crow…or was it a scarecrow…?

A more urgent question entered his mind. _Where is Elphaba?_ "Fae?" he tried to call. No sound came out. His mouth was too dry and his throat was too raw. "Fae?" he tried again, his voice barely audible. He heard a rustling noise somewhere to his left. "Elphaba?" he said a little louder.

"Yero!" exclaimed a familiar voice.

He sighed as he heard footsteps approaching the bed in which he was apparently lying. Wherever he was, he thought, at least she was here with him. He just hoped it wasn't a prison of some sort. He managed to turn his head to look at her, but this small motion sent waves of anguish shooting down his back. He blinked away more tears.

She was bending over him, a relieved smile on her face but worry apparent in her bloodshot eyes. He noticed that she looked worn and tired, as though she hadn't slept in quite awhile. He was unnerved to see a deep sadness clearly underlying her features. "Fae, what happened?" he asked weakly.

"The reversal worked," she said gently. "But you're hurt."

"Reversal? What reversal?"

She looked as though he'd just slapped her in the face. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

She gasped. "Oh Lurline…"

He smiled blearily. "I thought you didn't believe in Lurline."

She blankly stared down at him for several seconds. She then turned to someone he could not see, and whispered in a voice laden with shock and disbelief, "I don't think he remembers any of this."

"Are you sure?" asked another voice, a male voice that Fiyero didn't recognize. He heard a light fluttering noise, and something large and black entered his line of vision. It took him a moment to realize that the thing was a bird. The bird spoke to him. "Do you know me, mate?"

He stared at the bird for a moment. There was a sort of familiarity about him that Fiyero could not quite place. Then a name popped into his mind, suddenly and inexplicably. "Tobias," he said, though he could not begin to figure what this name meant to him.

"Right," the bird, which Fiyero now realized was a Crow, replied. "Do remember anything else about me?"

"I don't know," he said slowly, racking his brain for any sort of memory that somehow connected with this Crow. Then he noticed an old, battered black hat, vaguely similar to the hat Elphaba once wore, crumpled up in Elphaba's hands. He stared at it for a moment.

He blinked several times. "Oh…" _Now _he remembered what was going on. "Um…where's Frost?"

Elphaba sighed, and she looked as though a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "She's downstairs."

"How long was I-"

"Three days," she replied, her expression now hard. "You nearly died, Yero."

He bit his lip, unsure of what to say. She was angry. Of course she was. He settled for an "I'm sorry", but as soon as he said it, he could tell he'd only made things worse.

"You're _sorry_?" she repeated incredulously, shaking her head. "This is the second time I've almost lost you."

"No, it isn't, Fae. It's just some long-delayed aftermath from the first time."

She ignored that, and shot him an accusatory glare. "You knew this would happen."

"I didn't know for sure," he said quickly. "I thought there was a good chance…but Fae, I didn't know it would be this bad! I'd forgotten-"

"Forgotten? How could you have possibly _forgotten_?" she growled.

Fiyero closed his eyes. In addition to everything else, he could feel a massive headache coming on. "My memories of that night aren't exactly detailed, Elphaba. I didn't realize it'd been this bad, and my perceptions of the limits of a human body are a little skewed from five years of not having one. If I'd known I might've died, of course I would've told you."

"You should have told me anyway."

"You wouldn't have let Frost do the spell if you'd known."

She opened her mouth to protest, but the look on her face indicated that there was some truth to his words. "We could have talked about it, at least," she muttered, averting her eyes. "Frost even thinks she might've been able to do something, or at least prepare for all this."

As his back gave a particularly painful twinge, he realized that she had a very good point, one that he had not considered. After a long moment of ashamed silence, he said quietly, "Fae, I'm so sorry. I didn't think there was another way." In an attempt to make himself look less pathetic, he tried to prop himself up on his elbows.

"Yero, don't-" Elphaba began, but it was too late. Seconds later, Fiyero found himself lying flat on the bed, writhing in pain.

"That was…a bad idea…." he gasped.

Alarmed, Elphaba bent over him and brushed a loose strand of hair from his forehead. "Don't move," she ordered, though her eyes were gentle.

"I wasn't planning on it," he grunted, with a feeble attempt at a smile.

"I'm going to go get Frost," she said briskly, hopping off the bed and leaving the room without another word.

He lay there, waiting for the pain to subside, but it was relentless, and not only in his back. His leg felt as though it had been snapped in half, which, he reminded himself, it probably had been. He could feel bandages there. _Wonderful,_ he thought dryly. _Five years of feeling nothing and now my senses are on overdrive…Next time, be careful what you wish for…_

Eventually, the worst of it died down. His breath was coming in choking gasps and he was drenched in sweat, but he could think clearly again, at least. Tobias flew down from the bedside bureau to the edge of the bed and stared at him for a few seconds before asking, "How are you feeling, mate?"

"Uh…"

"Don't answer that." He sighed. "That's the last time I'm ever keeping secrets for you. Look at yourself. If I'd known, I never would've…"

"I know," he muttered. "I'm sorry."

"I know you didn't know, mate. No one in their right mind would inflict this upon himself willingly. But milady and Elphaba will hardly even speak to me. Can't say I blame them. Do you have any idea how bad it is?"

"Do I want to know?"

"You'd been flogged within an inch of your life, your spine was all crooked, your bones were sticking out of your leg, and the list goes on." He shook his head. "You should have seen Elphaba. I can't even describe…when Frost said you might not make it, she got this horrible empty look in her eyes. She looked almost…dead."

Fiyero shuddered. He knew that look. He had seen it on her five years ago, barely concealed behind a mask of hatred and ferocity. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes tearing up once more, and not entirely from the pain. He hated that he'd done this to her, again.

"She'll be fine," Tobias said after a moment. "She's furious with you, of course, but you're alive, and that's the important thing. She'll forgive you in time."

"I'm an idiot," Fiyero muttered.

"Well, maybe a little. But at least you're an idiot with a good heart and good intentions." He glanced at the doorway. "What on earth is taking them so long? Frost needs to come look at you."

"You could go get them…" Fiyero began, not caring for the time being that Frost would likely be positively livid when she showed up. He was in too much pain to care; he hoped she could help him.

Tobias laughed. "And leave you alone like this? They'd flay me alive." He hopped across the blanket closer to Fiyero's face and cocked his head to one side. "Hm. You look interesting."

"Good interesting or bad interesting?" He knew that his face was just as battered as the rest of him. He vividly remembered the moment in which Mirak, a Gale Forcer who had never liked him much to begin with, had drawn a knife across his face while two others held his arms behind his back. The wound now stung every time he moved his mouth to speak. But at least this was _his_ face, and any human face was bound to be better than the burlap face of the overgrown ragdoll that he had been before. All the same, a part of him, the part that contained the last remainders of vanity left over from his school days, prayed that he didn't look _too_ horrible.

"No, not bad," he said, amused by the concern in Fiyero's voice. "Under the bruises, that's still the face of a lady-killer, mate. You'll likely scar, though."

"Fine by me," he said, his voice cracking as the pain returned once again in full force. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, but it didn't help much. "Tobias?" he wheezed.

"Yes?" Tobias sounded anxious.

"Can you…go get them? I won't… die or anything while you're gone…I promise…" He tried to smile. "Please?"

"But I can't-"

"Tobias, please," he begged. He was trembling all over.

He could hardly hear Tobias' response over the deafening thunder of his own racing heart, but when he finally managed to force his eyes open, Tobias was gone.


	8. Relief

**Chapter 8**

**Relief**

The next thing Fiyero knew, Elphaba's face was inches from his. "Yero, look at me," she was saying. "You need to sit up."

"What?" he managed to croak. _Sit up?_ he thought. _Is she insane? _"I can't…"

"You need to," she said, her voice kind but firm. "We have a potion for you. You can't drink it lying down."

"Fae-"

"I'll help you," she said. "But you have to drink this. You're not going to get better otherwise."

Suddenly, Elphaba's arms were wrapped around him, one around his shoulders and one slid beneath the small of his back. A pair of hands that he knew belonged to Frost gripped his forearms. "Ready?" Frost's voice asked.

"Yes," Elphaba answered, and together they began to haul him upright. Fiyero felt as though someone were sawing his back in half, and he bit his tongue to keep from screaming. A few seconds later, Frost released his arms, and he fell back against Elphaba, who was holding him upright. He was shivering, desperately trying to hold onto consciousness.

"Now drink this," Frost said, and she pressed a bottle to his lips. The contents of the bottle smelled and tasted foul, and as soon as the stuff was in his mouth, he had the instantaneous sensation that his tongue and throat were on fire. He nearly spit it out.

"Swallow it," Elphaba whispered. "You need to drink all of it."

It took him a few tries to remember how to swallow at all, and once he did remember, it took several more tries to actually force the awful burning liquid down his throat. As he drank, his entire body felt as though it were filling with burning acid. Elphaba held his shaking shoulders tighter. At long last, he finished it, and then waited, tears streaming, for the fire to go away. "What…is this stuff?" he gasped.

"It'll help," Elphaba said reassuringly in his ear. "Give it a moment."

He waited. After awhile, he noticed that the heat seemed to be slowly dissipating. As the intensity of the burning died down, so did the pain in his back, his leg, and everywhere else. He sighed and let his body relax into Elphaba's arms, his head against her shoulder. The once roaring agony was now a dull, steady throbbing that he could cope with.

"Better?" she asked, peering down at him.

"Uh-huh. Thank you." Now that he was coherent and not distracted by the pain, he was not sure what to say to her or to Frost. Elphaba had already demonstrated that "sorry" wasn't going to be good enough. He stared at the opposite wall, knowing he could not bear to meet either of their eyes.

"Are you hungry?" Frost asked abruptly. Fiyero blinked. This question caught him off guard; it was a question that he had not been asked in years. He'd forgotten what it was even like to be hungry, but as he thought about it, he realized he _was_ hungry. He was extremely hungry.

"Um…yes, I am."

"I'll get you some broth, then," she said in a very businesslike manner, standing up. "Let me look at you first." She quickly bent over him and felt his pulse, touched his forehead to check for a fever, and placed her hand on his chest while he inhaled and exhaled to ensure that he was breathing normally. She then swept out of the room without looking back.

He stared at the wall for a few more seconds. "How angry is she?" he asked Elphaba quietly.

"Right now she's more worried than anything else," Elphaba said. "She's been too busy trying to save your life to spare much energy for anger. But she isn't exactly thrilled with you. And do you blame her?"

"Of course not. I didn't tell her everything. I betrayed her trust."

"Well yes," she said, now sounding irritable, "but you're missing the point. We thought you were going to die, all thanks to _our_ spell, and you didn't warn us. We still don't know if you're going to be alright. Of course she's upset with you. We both are, and rightly so." He felt her inhale shakily. "Yero, I thought I killed you," she whispered.

He took her hands, which were resting near his, grimacing a bit as he did so. Even his fingers were sore, and one of them felt broken. "But you didn't, Fae. I'm here now, and I'm me again. Even if I had died, it would've been my own damn fault for not telling you about this."

"It was my fault the bastards hurt you in the first place," she said darkly.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said, squeezing her hands lightly. "My decision, my fault. You didn't ask to be rescued by some idiot on a vine. That was all me." _And you were worth every minute of it._

She didn't respond. He knew this was an indication that she didn't believe him. After awhile, she muttered, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you wouldn't have done the-"

"No, I mean before all this. You never told me."

"What good would it have done, telling you all the gory details? You were upset enough as it was."

She sighed. "I figured."

"But I'm sorry I lied to you."

She rested her head on his. "I'm just glad you're alive."

"And human," he added, staring down at their joined hands and relishing the warmth of her body against his.

"Well, there's that." She kissed the top of his head. "Provided that you survive your recovery."

"I feel alright now."

Elphaba laughed. "All you ever think about is 'now'."

"Typically." He glanced around. "Where's Tobias?"

"Over here," Tobias' voice called from a corner of the room that Fiyero couldn't see. "Eavesdropping and unobtrusive."

"Oh really?" Elphaba said coldly.

"Alright, alright, I'm going. Clearly I'm not _wanted_ here," he drawled, flying out of the room.

"Good riddance," Elphaba growled under her breath when he was gone.

"He didn't do anything wrong, Fae. I asked him not to tell, so he didn't. He tried to talk me out of it."

She sighed. "Yes, well, he shouldn't have listened to you."

"He was only trying to help me. It's…kind of a personal thing for him."

"Why?"

"Gale Force murdered his family. It was few years before I was in charge, but it was definitely enough to make him loathe Gale Force for all eternity."

"Oh," she breathed. "Oh no."

"I know. His mate, even his children. He said he wanted to help me because I stood up to them. Helping me was sort of a way for him to spite Gale Force, I think."

"Well, I-" she began. "I wasn't paying much attention to him, the past few days. I was angry with him. But he just sat in the corner the whole time and didn't say a thing. I had no idea."

"Fae, you didn't know. He knows that. But watching us- watching _you-_ must have been like seeing what happened to him all over again."

"Only I didn't lose you…" she muttered. "And he lost everything. I'll apologize to him."

"Okay, but don't tell him I told you-"

"I won't. Oh, and by the way, do you think we could try to get you leaned up against the headboard, if it doesn't hurt you too much?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Frost will be back soon, and I don't think you can eat without help. I can't help if I'm holding you like this, and unless you want Frost spoon-feeding you…"

"Oh. Okay." He couldn't help feeling a pang of embarrassment at this. _If I can't even eat on my own, _he thought, _what else can't I do?_

She made to remove the blanket from his legs so she could help him scoot backwards to the headboard, but he caught her hand. "Uh, wait…"

"What?"

"Am I wearing pants?"

She snorted and grabbed the blanket.

"Hey, it's a legitimate question!" he exclaimed, attempting but failing to snatch it back from her. "I'm not wearing a shirt, so-"

"Yes, you're wearing pants," she said, exasperated. "But that's a non-issue, anyway…"  
"Excuse me," he said, gritting his teeth against the stabbing pains that resurfaced as she propped him up with some pillows against the headboard, "but I'm failing to see how that's a non-issue."

"I've slept with you, stupid. I don't care if you're wearing pants or not."

"Yeah, well…" he muttered. "_You've _slept with me, but Frost hasn't."

He laughed as Elphaba smacked his hand.


	9. Implications

**Chapter 9**

**Implications**

Elphaba was right: Fiyero could not eat without her assistance. When Frost returned a few minutes later with a thin vegetable broth, some water, and a new set of bandages, Fiyero found that he could not so much as hold the spoon with a steady hand. Even though it was Elphaba who was helping him, it was still a humiliating experience, made worse by the fact that Frost had still not spoken to him. But eating- for the first time in years, actually _eating-_ was incredible. He decided then and there that this broth was the greatest thing he had ever tasted.

Tobias seemed to notice. "Like it?" he laughed when Fiyero had finished.

Fiyero grinned sheepishly. "You have no idea."

Frost took the bowl from Elphaba and set it on the bureau. "It's hardly substantial, but it's all I suspect you'll be able to eat for awhile without making yourself ill." She sat down on the edge of the bed and began to remove the old bandages from his leg. The effects of the potion were strong enough that the unwrapping did not hurt him very much, but when he finally saw what his damaged leg actually looked like beneath the bloody bandages, he had to look away quickly, willing himself not to vomit. Frost gazed down at it and shook her head in disbelief. "How in Lurline's name…"

"I don't really remember that part, actually," Fiyero told her, "And I think I'm better off not knowing exactly what they did."

"But what about your back?" Elphaba whispered, more to herself than to Fiyero.

"_That_ I remember," he growled. "Remember I said that there had already been a scarecrow hanging on that pole before they hung me up there?"

Elphaba nodded, looking as though she wished she hadn't asked.

"They threw me into the pole a few times." In reality, it had been more than a few times. A couple of the guards had laughed at this point and made bets on which would break first, him or the pole. At the time, he could hardly believe that his men- his _friends_, most of them- could be capable of such great cruelty. When he thought about it later, however, it was not so surprising. He had put them all through two years of relentless, fruitless searching, only to betray them in the end. And of course, they had all been motivated by the firm belief that he had been aiding an evil, deranged terrorist in her wrongdoing. All the same, their obvious delight in his pain had terrified him as much as the pain itself.

"I figured it was something like that," Frost said gravely, "but it was no small task, trying to reset your vertebrae." Fiyero winced. "I did what I could. But," she continued, "I certainly could have used a warning. I might have been able to do more."

Fiyero looked at her. He expected to see anger in her expression, but instead her eyes held a deep weariness. For some reason, this disturbed him far more than her anger would have. He dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry, milady."

"I hardly expected you to tell me everything, lad," she said. "After all, I assure you that you two know next to nothing about _me._ But I had hoped you would exercise better judgment. Though I understand your intent, your decision to withhold this from me was very foolish indeed. You are now paying a terrible price for it."

Fiyero stared fixedly at the blanket on his lap, at a complete loss for words.

"I don't think you even know how terrible," she said as she tied off the bandages. "Believe me when I say I consider you more than chastised for your mistake." She sighed. "You're a damned fool, but a noble one."

He took this to mean that he was forgiven, and he softly thanked her for helping him. She nodded in acknowledgement and then returned to her work. With Elphaba's help, she undertook the complex and rather painful process of replacing the bandages that covered his entire back. All of them remained silent for several minutes. Fiyero was immensely relieved that Frost was not angry, but her words had made him apprehensive. _I don't even think you know how terrible…_

Eventually, he could not bear it any longer. "Um…how bad are things, exactly?" he asked nervously, eyeing the pile of discarded, blood-stained fabric strips lying on the bed next to him as Frost and Elphaba finished up and leaned him back against the pillows.

Frost smiled sadly. "They're not as bad they could be," she told him. "With the exception of death, the worst-case scenario for you would have involved a wheelchair and an amputated leg."

"Well, I…Wait, what? _Amputated_?"

Elphaba had said little since Frost came in, but she laughed unexpectedly at the horrified expression on Fiyero's face. "Calm down. Obviously that didn't happen."

"B-but, if it _had_ happened, you would've told me first, right?"

"Would that have really made it any easier for you," Tobias asked wryly, "if she had told you before she hacked your leg off, mate?"

"Tobias!" Frost snapped.

"Sorry."

Elphaba took his hand. "But it's not good, Yero."

"Define 'not good', Fae." He looked down at his leg. "Can I walk?"

She bit her lip. "Sort of."

"'Sort of'?" He glanced at Frost. "What do you mean, 'sort of'?"

"The healing arts are a tricky and dangerous affair," she said grimly. "I did do everything I could, but all the same, you'll be stuck with a bad back and a limp for the rest of your life, lad."

Fiyero felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. _I'm crippled. _These words reverberated through his shocked mind, drowning out all else. _She's saying I'm crippled. _

"Yero?"

He felt Elphaba's hand touch his shoulder. He took a deep breath and quickly arranged his face into what he hoped was a nonchalant expression. "Ah, well. Could be worse. I'm just glad I'm not dead."

"So are we," Frost said, reaching for a hand-mirror lying on the bureau. "You'll have some rather impressive scars, as well." She handed Elphaba the mirror, and Elphaba held it up so he could see himself.

Before he looked, Fiyero closed his eyes and attempted to steel himself against whatever he was about to see.

What he did see, when he forced himself to look, was not nearly as bad as he expected. Tobias had been right about the bruises, which spread across his entire face in dark patches of blackish blue and purple, but it was indeed his ownface that he was seeing, and that in itself gave him an immense amount of joy. The bruises would fade in time. But he immediately knew what Frost meant by "impressive scars" when he saw the place where Malik had cut him. It appeared that Frost had been able to partially heal it, but there remained an angry red gash that stretched diagonally across the side of his face from his nose to his jaw, almost as though someone had tried and failed to tear his face in half. Based on how it now appeared, he predicted that once the wound healed, it would leave a long, ropey scar in its wake.

"You're you again," Elphaba said, watching him with a tentative expression.

He smiled teasingly. "Yes, and I'm younger than you now."

She rolled her eyes. "Not by much."

"Hmm. How old are you two, then?" Tobias asked.

"I'm twenty-five," Elphaba said brusquely, "and he just turned twenty-seven."

"Twenty-two, now," Fiyero corrected her. He noticed with some amusement that, though she was obviously trying to hide it, she looked distinctly ill-at-ease at the prospect of being physically older than him, even if it was only a three-year difference. "Not that it matters in the long run, Fae."

"Actually, it might," said Frost. "Given your condition, a few extra years of youth could be quite beneficial for you."

Her words unnerved him, but he chuckled. "Well, I'm not complaining."

At that moment, Elphaba yawned, barely managing to stifle it with her hand.

"You should get some sleep, lass," Frost said gently. Fiyero noticed that Frost looked just as exhausted as Elphaba. "We all should."

"But what if something happens…" Elphaba began to protest.

"I'll be okay for one night, Fae," Fiyero assured her. "Listen to her. You need to sleep."

Frost stood up. "He's right, Elphaba. I'll fetch some more potion before I turn in. You'll be staying with him tonight, I assume. And one more thing…" She regarded them both for a few seconds, her gaze steely. "You two are not to try anything _drastic_" –she placed heavy emphasis on the word- "until he's more recovered. Understood?"

"Drastic?" Fiyero repeated innocently. "Why, whatever do you mean?"

"You know what I mean and I mean it, lad."

***

Frost left, and Elphaba left soon after to take a bath before bed. Only after Elphaba had gone did Fiyero allow himself to shed tears, as the all events of the past few days finally crashed down upon him with an unbearable weight. Minutes after she had gone, he found himself staring up at the rafters, weeping silently. Tobias, who had stayed behind to watch him, mercifully said nothing.

He had managed to somewhat calm himself down by the time Elphaba came back. He felt somewhat ridiculous for having cried at all, and he certainly did not want her to know that he had. Elphaba, however, saw through him in an instant. She sat down on the edge of the bed, wearing a nightdress that he guessed she had borrowed from Frost.

"What's wrong?" There was concern in her eyes, but there was also understanding. He knew it was no use lying to her.

He cleared his throat. "I, uh…I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. I'm sorry." His voice sounded unusually gruff. He instantly regretted his words as her expression turned to one of hurt.

Tobias looked from Fiyero to Elphaba, and then bade them both a hasty good night and left the room.

Elphaba turned away from him and grabbed a second bottle of his potion from the bureau. "You're supposed to take more of this," she said in a voice devoid of emotion.

The effects of the potion were not as severe the second time around, though he clenched his fists tightly and closed his eyes until the caustic burning faded away. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Elphaba had his hands in hers, but she was not looking at him. A few seconds later, she exhaled slowly and turned back to him. "Now talk to me," she said softly.

He stayed quiet, unsure of what to say.

She frowned. "Yero, I mean it."

"Fae, look at me," he blurted before he could stop himself, his voice urgent. "I'm useless."

She blinked. "Don't say that."

"It's true. You know it's true. You heard Frost. I'm crippled, Fae."

She visibly flinched as he said these words, but she quickly regained composure and said steadily, "That hardly matters, Yero. We'll figure things out."

"No. It does matter. As if I didn't slow you down enough before. And if something happens to you, I can't…" He sighed. "I'm even more useless now than I was before."

Elphaba shook her head. "So that's what you think you were? Useless?" He did not answer. She actually laughed. "Yero, you know you're the only thing that's kept me sane all this time. You couldn't be farther from useless."

He smiled faintly, but pressed his point. "But remember the ravine? You almost got killed that day, and there was nothing I could do."

"If I remember correctly," she said, "_you _told me not to try to climb down that thing, and I didn't listen. That wasn't your fault."

"But-"

"But nothing. We'll figure this out, Yero. Don't worry."

"What are we going to do, Fae?" he asked desperately. She was completely missing the point. "We can't keep hiding out in the deserts if I can hardly walk. We'll move too slowly, and we'll be found. I'll get us both killed."

She dropped her gaze. "Yes, I've been thinking about that."

"Any ideas?" He himself had an idea, but it was painful for him to even consider it.

She studied his face for a moment. "I'm not leaving you, if that's what you're thinking," she said flatly.

"Then what do you propose we do?"

"Well, for starters, we stay here until you're better. And then…" she looked thoughtful. "Remember what you said before, about going to Ix? I like that idea, myself."

He thought about this, and a smile slowly spread across his face. "Do you really think we could?"

"I don't see why not. Ix has never been friendly with Oz. Even if anyone has heard of me there, I doubt there's a price on my head. And we'll lay low, at any rate. It's bound to be safer than here. We'll talk to Frost about it."

"That's brilliant, Fae."

"Hey, it was your idea." She leaned toward him until her face was inches from his, and put her hand on the back of his neck. His heart rate inadvertently sped up at her touch. "Everything's going to be fine," she breathed.

He smiled impishly. "Convince me."

She kissed him softly. "Convinced?" she whispered, her lips moving against his.

"Maybe."

She kissed him again, this time with much more enthusiasm. He responded with equal fervor, suddenly oblivious to all else aside from the exhilarating sensation of her lips molding to his, the sweet taste of her mouth, the rapid drumming of his own heart in his ears, and the unadulterated desire now coursing white-hot through his veins. The cut on his face was beginning to sting again, but he hardly noticed.

A moment later, Elphaba broke away from him, smiling radiantly. Fiyero had to wait for the room to stop spinning before he could manage to say, rather breathlessly, "Well…that's one thing I definitely missed."

She nodded, her cheeks flushed. "Me too."

"Then why'd you stop?" he teased. "Bad breath?"

"No, actually," she laughed. "Far from it. One of the reasons that potion we've been giving you burns so badly is because the primary ingredient is cinnamon."

"Really?"

"Really. In its purest form, cinnamon has strong medicinal qualities. And fortunately for me, it means that right now you taste good."

"That stuff is still awful."

"I know, but it's powerful, and you're going to need it for awhile."

"Oh joy," he said dryly. "So why _did_ you stop, then?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Things could have gotten _drastic_."

"Fae, that was hardly what I'd call-"

"Hmm," she said, studying him for a few seconds. "You're breathing hard and you still look kind of dizzy."

"Aw, you're no fun."

She giggled, something she rarely did, and then bent forward to kiss him again, this time gently and carefully. "Later, Yero. I promise. I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, the agony."

"I mean it," she growled.

"Okay, okay. I'll behave. I guess you really should try to sleep now, anyway."

"Alright. Deal."

***

He was able to convince her, at least, to sleep next to him in the bed rather than on the floor where she had been sleeping for the past few nights. Elphaba had objected at first, as she was generally a fitful sleeper, but as she drifted off at his side (though she was admittedly lying several inches away from his body and on his right side, as far as possible from his damaged leg), he noted that she appeared unusually calm tonight. She was turned towards him, her long hair splayed between them on the sheets. She was nodding off, her eyelids drooping. He was lazily playing with her hair, enjoying its silky feel as it slipped between his fingers.

"You smell good," he said after awhile, noticing the sweet scent that hung about her. He could not identify exactly what she smelled like, as he was still adjusting to his newly restored olfactory capabilities, but that he guessed that it was a result of her recent bath. "Something floral. It's nice."

"Rose oil," Elphaba murmured sleepily. "It's in the soap Frost gave me."

"I like it."

She smiled and closed her eyes. He was unsettled by how weary she looked.

"Fae?" he whispered a few minutes later, gently tracing the bags under her eyes.

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" she yawned.

"Everything."

Her eyes snapped open. "Stop it." There was anger in her voice.

"What?"

She shut her eyes and exhaled slowly, clearly trying to hold onto her patience. "Yero, listen to me," she said abruptly. "No more apologies. Please. Not after all that you've done for me." Her tone was stern, but her expression was tender.

At this he felt as though dozens of knots that had been constricting his heart had suddenly been cut away. "Okay," he breathed, and then slyly added, "Sorry." He grinned at the irritation that briefly flickered in her eyes.

Within minutes, she was fast asleep. He was having some trouble keeping his own eyes open, but the persistence of the pain, even through the haze of the potion, was making it difficult for sleep to find him. He took Elphaba's hand, for the umpteenth time that evening, and tried to steady his breathing so that it matched the slow, even rhythm of hers. At long last, he managed to drift off, Elphaba's hand still tightly clasped in his own.


	10. Epilogue

**Chapter 10**

**Epilogue**

Elphaba closed her eyes and inhaled the cold sharpness of the evening air. Dusk was falling over Iron Town, and the high mountain peaks visible over the rooftops were black against the soft inky purple of the sky. She had hardly spent a moment outside of Frost's house for the past month, and this was the first time that Fiyero had been allowed outside at all since their arrival in Iron Town. Tonight, Frost had sent them both outside so that they could watch the great Northern Lights as they streamed across the mountain sky, saying that they could both use the fresh air.

She knew that Frost could sense Fiyero's growing restlessness, as well. It could not be more obvious that he was bored out of his mind staying in bed all day: bored, but too weak to do anything else. Watching him, she recalled with mingled pity and amusement the time during their Shiz days, back when they had loathed one another, when Fiyero had caught the flu and had been bedridden for a week. Glinda had coerced Elphaba into helping her in her attempts to keep him entertained. She remembered leaning against his doorframe, silently cursing Glinda for forcing her to spend time alone with her obnoxious boyfriend. The moment he saw her standing there, he rolled his eyes theatrically and groaned, "She sent _you_? Oh Lurline, just kill me now…" Elphaba had spent the next hour and a half sitting in the corner and scowling.

When she reminded Fiyero of this, he laughed. "Aw, I was secretly happy to see you."

"No, you weren't."

"Of course I was," he said with finality. "I just didn't quite realize it at the time."

She had done what she could for the past several weeks to help remedy his boredom and to distract him from his pain. They talked endlessly, of course, as they had always done. Elphaba often read to him, as well, from Frost's large collection of books on Ozian and Ixian history, legends and myths, and magic. She could tell that he was often not very interested in the texts themselves, as many of them were rather dry reads, but he seemed to find the sound her voice soothing, especially when he was struggling with the pain. Tobias helped as well, telling them both stories about his childhood and his family, including some very interesting anecdotes about each of his twenty-three siblings and sixteen aunts and uncles. He talked briefly about his mate and children, a sad smile in his eyes as he thought of them. But most fascinating of all were his tales of Frost's years of resistance to the Wizard, which were far more eventful than she had led them to believe. Of Frost herself, however, they saw very little. They had no idea what she was up to, and Tobias would not tell them.

Frost was, however, actively involved in helping them plan their journey to Ix. The first step of their preparation, of course, was figuring out how badly Fiyero's injuries would hinder him during their travels. The first time he got out of bed, about a week ago, he had managed to hobble around the room a few times, leaning heavily on Elphaba and using a crutch. Frost said that he was likely to need crutches, or a cane at the very least, for the rest of his life. When she told them this, Fiyero's face fell. Elphaba's heart wrenched, and she asked Frost, rather desperately, "What about the enchantment I did for Nessarose? With her shoes?" Elphaba could tell by the look on Frost's face what her answer would be before she spoke.

"I doubt it would do him any good, lass. Tell me, how well was your sister able to walk after you did that spell?"

Elphaba blinked a few times, trying to remember. Several terrible things had happened in quick succession after she had done the spell, most notably Nessa's attempted spell gone awry. She had been too preoccupied with both trying to save Boq and with the startling revelation that Glinda and Fiyero were engaged to pay much attention to how well Nessa could walk. "Well, uh… from what I saw, she could walk well enough. A little slow, maybe. And…" she closed her eyes, trying to envision the specific details of that day. "And I think there were moments when she was holding onto things for support. Her desk. And me."

Frost looked thoughtful. "By the sound of it, those shoes forced Nessarose to walk normally, which was presumably difficult for her, but possible. However," she said, turning to Fiyero, "In this case, walking normally would only do you more damage, lad. That leg cannot hold your weight. Shoes such as those might be a feasible option for you someday, but not for quite awhile. And by that time, you might find a cane to be more convenient and far less painful for you, anyhow."

Fiyero had only nodded, looking crestfallen, and had not spoken of the matter since.

Frost had, however, asked one of the town's refugees, a former tanner, to make him two leather braces, one that strapped around his knee and leg and one that covered the lower half of his back. They had been finished and delivered today, and he was now wearing them over his clothes. The laces were not done very tightly, as he still had bandages in both places, but now that he was out of bed and attempting to move around, he accepted the fact that, while not especially comfortable, the braces would both keep the worst of the pain caused by his movement at bay and would help to protect him from further injury.

Right now, he had his arm slung over her shoulders and was putting most of his weight on her as he walked, a crutch under his other arm. They were making their way slowly down the main street of Iron Town, bound for a grassy spot just outside the town that Tobias, now flying above them, assured them was the best spot for watching the lights. Half of the purpose for this little excursion was to find out just how recovered Fiyero was by now. Looking at him, Elphaba thought that if he was in an immense amount of pain, he was doing a very good job at hiding it, because right now he appeared to be positively delighted. He was looking around at the town, the mountains, and the sky and grinning ear to ear.

"What are you so happy about?" she laughed.

"Everything," he said, beaming. "Look around. The sky. The stars. The air, even! Sure, we've been living outside for Lurline knows how long, but…" His words were tumbling out in an elated rush. "I can see it all so much better now. And I can actually smell wood smoke and…and feel the wind, and I'm cold, and-"

"You're cold?" Elphaba cut him off, concerned.

"That's not a bad thing!" he exclaimed jubilantly. "It just means I'm me again."

Tobias, still gliding overhead, laughed. Even Lirah, slinking along several paces behind them to protect them from any ill-wishing villagers, chuckled softly at this. Lirah had since learned the truth about Elphaba and Fiyero and had even visited Fiyero about a week after the reversal. She now felt obliged to make up for having attacked him upon his arrival and for having accused him of murder. She had hardly spoken two words to Fiyero since then, but she seemed determined to redeem herself in deed rather than word.

Elphaba glanced around, suddenly very glad that Lirah had offered to escort them. A collection of Animals and humans had lined up along the edge of the street to watch them pass. More were peering out at them from the lit windows of the houses. There were far more present than she remembered seeing during the tour Frost had given her, and their expressions ranged from confused and curious to utterly awestruck to furious and hostile. Elphaba knew that rumors of their story must have already spread through the town like wildfire. She noted with wonder the sheer number and variety of the Animals present: there must have been at least fifty of them lining the road alone, and she could see several Dogs, Cats, a few Wolves, two Eagles, a small Ape, some Horses, a Bull, a jewel-toned Parrot, and the massive white Tiger, Onyar, whom she had met on her tour. She was impressed as she remembered the way in which all of them, even the largest ones, had managed to keep themselves completely hidden from sight or detection the night she and Fiyero had first arrived here.

"It's not far now," Tobias called to them as they passed through the shabby outskirts of Iron Town. Elphaba certainly hoped so, as she could tell that Fiyero was quickly getting tired. The road before them led into steep, rocky pasturelands. The stars were becoming clearer and the air colder. A thin ribbon of brilliant green and blue light was beginning to form in the sky, stretching over the mountains and off into the darkening horizon.

They stopped when they came to a grassy patch well-hidden from the eyes of any curious villagers by the fact that it was several yards below the top of the slope on which it rested and was concealed behind some large rocks. Elphaba helped Fiyero lie down on the ground, which would be far more comfortable for him than sitting up, and then laid herself down next to him. Lirah settled down several feet away, and Tobias perched on a nearby rock. All of them watched as the band of colored light grew brighter and began to shimmer in its path across the sky.

"Wow," Fiyero breathed.

Tobias nodded. "Aye. That's the Aurora for you."

"We could see it in the desert," Elphaba said, "but not this well. We're so close to it…" She reached toward the sky, as if the Aurora was a satin ribbon floating above her head that she somehow could reach out and touch. "It's beautiful."

"It is," Lirah agreed quietly, her voice full some emotion that Elphaba was unable to distinguish.

"You'll be able to see it in Ix, too," Tobias said. "It stretches all the way across the desert, to the best of my knowledge, although I'll wager it's called the Southern Lights there. How long until you two leave, by the way?"

"We're staying here for another month, at the very least," Elphaba told him. "And then we'll take brooms, I think."

"That is, if Frost ever gets around to helping you enchant them, Fae," Fiyero laughed. "What's been keeping her so busy all this time, anyway?"

"Well…" Tobias began, in a voice that suggested that he was not sure how much he ought to tell them. "She's preparing for a journey of her own, actually."

"What?" Lirah said sharply. "She's leaving?"

Tobias sighed. "I guess you might as well know. She's going to kill me for this…She wanted to tell you herself…"

"Talk," Lirah ordered.

"She's going to, ah, find out for herself the state of affairs in the Emerald City. I'm going with her."

"_What_?" Lirah hissed. "Are you mad? You can't go there!"

"It's a trip she's been considering for years, Lirah. When these two came along, she knew she couldn't wait any longer."

"What is she planning on doing_ there_?" Fiyero asked, also sounding worried. "Helping Glinda?"  
"Glinda wouldn't trust her," Elphaba pointed out. "She'd know better. She trusted Morrible, and just look how that turned out."

"We know that," Tobias said. "I'll remind you that milady is the daughter of politicians and has spent years in the royal courts of both Oz and Ix. She knows how to play such loyalty games. But no, this is not a venture to earn Lady Glinda's trust. As wonderful as Lady Glinda sounds, milady is not at all interested in trying to help anyone rule Oz. She only wants to help undo what the Wizard did, especially regarding the Animals, and to make sure nothing of the sort happens again. She's her own agent, but she'll gladly become an ally to Lady Glinda should Glinda wish her to become one."

"And why are you coming along?" Fiyero asked him.

He chuckled. "For the spectacle of it all, of course. And," he added with a flourish of his wing, "I'm damn useful, on occasion." Lirah sniggered at this.

"By the way," he added in a more serious tone, "Frost has been wondering if you might show her the spell that you used on your friend Boq."

Elphaba sat up. "What?"

"Yes. She's going to see if she might help him as well."

"She can't," Fiyero said suddenly.

"Why?" Tobias asked.

"If Frost just shows up and claims that she's going to change Boq back, Glinda is going to suspect that she somehow knows Elphaba. Glinda can't find out we're alive. No one can."

"Milady is capable of being sneaky, you know," Tobias said dryly. "For all Glinda has to know, Frost is just a powerful sorceress who wants to help out a victim of a miscast spell. She can do it without arousing suspicion. Although," Tobias added thoughtfully, "I do wonder why it is that you're so insistent on keeping your friend in the dark."

"She can't know. It's too dangerous," Fiyero said promptly.

"You don't know that for a fact, mate. How long has it been since you've been to Emerald City?"

Elphaba thought about this, and she grinned. "He has a point, Yero. Maybe Glinda- _just _Glinda- could know." Hope filled her heart at the prospect of finally letting Glinda know that the two people she cared about the most were alive and well (or, in Fiyero's case, simply alive).

Tobias nodded. "We might be able to tell her for you, if conditions are stable. Maybe you'd like to write her a letter or something, Elphaba?"

"Do you think we could?" Elphaba whispered. "I'd have to keep it very vague in case it falls in the wrong hands, and of course she'll be suspicious of it, but…"

"I don't see why not," Tobias said. "It's worth a try."

"That's not a bad idea, actually," Fiyero admitted. "But you're right, Fae. Keep it very vague. No details, no specifics. Don't even put our names on it."

"Of course," she said, unable to keep the relieved smile off her face, now that she finally had a chance to rid herself of something that had been tormenting her like a thorn in her side for years: _Glinda doesn't know…She can't know…She'll never know…_

"Wait," Lirah said. "What about your friend Bick?"

"Boq," Elphaba and Fiyero automatically corrected her.

"What about him?" Fiyero asked.

"I know little of magic," Lirah said, "but before Lady Fae's spell, you'd been wounded by the Gale Force, and then Madame Frost undid that spell, and now you're wounded again. Didn't you say that when Lady Fae did the spell on Boq, his heart-"

"Was shrinking," Elphaba finished, dread blossoming in the pit of her stomach. "He'll die if she changes him back."

"Wait…" Fiyero said after a moment. "That might not be a problem."

"How?"

"Because the Wizard gave him a 'heart', remember? It isn't really a heart, of course, but it's made of tin like the rest of him, and the Wizard had it put inside of him where a heart ought to be. Maybe if he gets changed back, then it'll just change with him."

"Or maybe," Elphaba said, unconvinced, "he'll die anyway because a hunk of metal will be stuck in his chest cavity."

"Or maybe," Tobias said gently, "You should stop worrying about it, Lady Fae, and let milady see what she can do for him. She won't let your friend come to harm."

Elphaba nodded, still uneasy, and went back to staring silently at the Aurora. Fiyero's hand found hers. "It'll be fine, Fae," he whispered.

"Okay," she replied absently, already lost, once again, in the beauty of the sky.

***

Fiyero did not know how long the two of them lay there without speaking. Tobias and Lirah were on the other side of the rocks, obviously trying to give them some privacy. He thought that Elphaba must have fallen asleep, but when he turned to look at her, her eyes were open and she was staring at the snow-capped mountain peaks.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked her.

"The fact that we're actually leaving Oz," she said softly. "For good. I'm not upset about it, not at all, but… "

"But it's bizarre," he finished. "I know. I don't know about you, but I'm actually kind of excited about this."

"Me too, in a way. But-"

"But what?"

"Nothing. Never mind." She looked up at the sky again.

"But what, Fae?"  
She turned back to him. "I'm scared," she admitted reluctantly, not meeting his eyes.

He reached over and ran his fingers through her hair. "Why?"

"I don't know," she said miserably. "I shouldn't be. But…we're about to-"

"We're about to start over, Fae," he said firmly. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Oh yes, we'll start over, provided that no one assassinates us when we get there…" She trailed her fingers over the leather laces of his back brace, visible beneath his open jacket. "_If_ we get there…" she whispered. Her tone seemed to say, _If _you_ survive the journey…_

"Hey, what happened to 'Everything's going to be fine'?" He stroked her cheek. "Remember what you said? We'll figure it out. We always do."

She still looked upset. On a sudden inspiration, he began to hum Dorothy's song in an annoyingly cheerful manner.

"Stop it," she snapped, clearly trying to keep herself from smiling. "You know I hate it when you do that."

He only hummed louder. Elphaba growled, and then sat up, bent down over him, and kissed him. Her kiss was more forceful than usual: he knew she was doing it to get him to shut up. He didn't mind. He slid his arms around her shoulders and kissed her even harder.

"Alright. Here's what we're going to do do," he said when they finally broke apart, both gasping for breath. "We'll go to Ix. And when we get there, I'm going to build you a house with my bare hands-"

"Oh really?" she said mockingly, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, maybe not with my bare hands," he amended, "but there will be a house. And it will be ours. And then I will marry you, and-"

"Who would marry us?" She was smirking now.

"Shush. That's not important. We'll be married. Symbolically, at least, if not literally. Fae, will you marry me?"

She laughed and kissed him again. "I do."

"Now that wasn't so hard," he said, grinning. "And we'll have a long, happy life together, and we'll have ten beautiful babies, and-"

Her face paled. "_Ten_?"

"Why not?"

"Because it's _me _who will have to carry and give birth to ten children, not to mention raise them! Let's just see how things go with _one_ child to start out with, Yero."

"If we even have one child," he said, frowning.

"Why wouldn't we?" she asked.

"Because having a child requires _drastic_ behavior."

She smiled wickedly. "And who said I was against drastic behavior?"

"You did," he said with a teasing pout. In truth, neither of them had brought up the subject of lovemaking since the night he had awoken when Frost had warned them against it. Though he hated to admit it, he realized that she had been right: he had felt so worn out and weak for the past month that he knew he could not have mustered the energy or enthusiasm necessary for such things until he had healed more. But by now, he was sufficiently recovered to the point that he could and would happily make love to her the moment she agreed to it, injuries notwithstanding. If Tobias and Lirah weren't nearby, he thought, he would gladly do it with her here and now.

"I said nothing of the sort," she said indignantly, and then kissed his cheek. "We'll talk to Frost about it. But keep in mind that I don't want to be pregnant while taking care of you _and_ trying to cross that desert."

"But there's got to be something Frost can give you, like a charm or potion or something…you know, to prevent that sort of thing from happening…." he trailed off hopefully.

She buried her fingers in his hair. "Maybe there is, and maybe there isn't."

He rolled his eyes. "Now you're just taunting me."

"Yes, I am." She laid down once more, snuggling close to him as he wrapped his arms around her. "Though I do love you, Yero my hero."

"I love you too, Fae."

Fiyero gazed once more at the blazing blue ribbon in the sky. He had no idea what their future had in store for them. But for now, it did not matter to him if the future held peace and security for once in their lives or if it held yet more hardship. The woman now encircled tightly in his arms was the only thing he saw or cared about in his future.

And for now, he was content.


End file.
